It doesn’t matter if the person in question is a stranger or your spouse. It doesn’t matter how that person feels about you or what your relationship is. It doesn’t matter that you are on a first date and the person opposite you doesn’t know you or love you yet. Love is not a requisite for respect and consideration.
If someone is rude to you or completely disregards your needs, wishes or dignity, it’s not about you. It’s about who they are. You didn’t ‘invite’ this person to treat you badly. Everyone knows that they should be considerate towards others, some just choose not to and to test how much they can get away with. If someone takes advantage of your kindness and generosity, see it for what it really is: their bad character.
Someone who treats you without respect will not improve on acquaintance or suddenly realise that they should in fact pay attention to your needs because you are such a lovely person. And if they do, how would the remembrance of how they treat strangers affect you? Why is only someone who is invested in them or who can mean something to them worthy of consideration and good behaviour from their part? Being considerate and respectful is the norm, not some reward you hand out to people who please you in some way.
Pay attention to how you are feeling after you’ve spend time with someone. Don’t try to rationalise it. There is no excuse for treating you poorly, for not showing you the respect that you would show them. End of story. Sometimes (or perhaps oftentimes) we need to keep it really simple. Your life is too short to worry about how others feel about you. It doesn’t matter that much. You are safe. You are your own person. You can survive without other people’s approval. Have your standards, make sure you treat others with respect and consideration, stay close to yourself and how you are feeling and keep your distance from people who honestly just make you feel bad. You don’t need to impress them. You already are wonderful, smart, funny, intelligent and a blessing to be around. If they can’t see that, then it’s their loss. Please stop blaming and criticising yourself. It’s ok to stop trying to get them to like you. You don’t need them in your life. You don’t have to prove to them that you are in fact worthy of kindness, of attention, of love, of care. Of course you are. Wait for the ones who will know your worth all by themselves, without you needing to prove anything. They exist, trust me.