My anger is not the enemy. It is an ally, shaking me awake when I’m wrapped up in politically correct thoughts, when I gasp and shake my head when I write something bad about others in my journal. ‘Oh my God, how selfish I am. I cannot expect others to cater to my needs. I’m just going to detach until this rant is over and I can go back to my sane self.‘
Well, NO. My anger is not going to let me go back to being sane. She keeps tugging at the chains of my prison, my low self-esteem.
I want you to buy a notebook and keep me with you everywhere so you can hear me. Stop trying to be some bloody saint. You are human with human needs and there is nothing wrong with that. Guess what, if others don’t take care of you by being friendly and being considerate of your needs they have NO PLACE in your life!!! You don’t have to mold yourself into something acceptable or hold yourself back. If I am angry it’s because I don’t feel respected and there is NOTHING shameful about that. Don’t you DARE turn me into something acceptable to please others. I will NEVER be conquered by any convention or politically correct behaviour.
Looks like I have some Kali energy in me that needs exploring. :) She also gave me some ideas on how to best employ my creativity and I can’t wait to get started on that. No matter how pissed off and seemingly self-centered she gets sometimes, I know that she is not the enemy. She’s an ancient force that pierces through any limitations that I place upon myself in order to fit in and keep myself small. It’s a comfort to know she’s looking out for me, making me look at the truth of things when I’m too busy being nice.