I’ve recently been diving into psychology books, where I read that in general, human beings are only conscious 5% of the time. During the rest of the day, they function on automatic pilot.
I assume that in this context, consciousness means being aware of the present moment, of your surroundings, of your body and your thoughts.
The future will never arrive and the past cannot be changed. Still, I notice that my thoughts often go out to the future, to my plans for the week, to what still needs to be done, etc. This makes me anxious and stressed. Or I think about the past and the injustices done against me. This can be useful at times, because it’s often easier to forget what happened than to communicate honestly about your feelings. But maybe part of why we avoid honest communication is because it’s hard to sit with our feelings and accept them. But for that, we need to be present with what is happening now.
To sit with our feelings requires consciousness or mindfulness. It also requires taking ourselves seriously. When I’m functioning on automatic pilot, I dismiss my feelings as irrelevant, unimportant, too demanding, too selfish. I spend my days with a vague feeling of guilt, shame, anxiety, unease. My default mode is subconsciously assuming I’m doing something wrong. My breathing is fast and shallow, leading to all kinds of health complaints. To bear this is somehow easier than to stop and feel.
There is a way out of this madness. It’s to take yourself seriously. To become conscious of the thoughts you are thinking and just noticing how you treat yourself. It’s not your fault though that you’re thinking mean thoughts about yourself. It’s what was taught to you at some point in your life. The main thing to remember is that it’s not your fault. That creates space.
Give your inner being space to be a child again, to run around freely and explore while a loving, kind, gentle parent (you) smiles at its antics and appreciates the many facets of your unique personality. You are good and you are welcome. Remember that when you feel like you don’t measure up: you are good and you are welcome here.